“Go Home Ionia Street, You’re Drunk”

If you have driven downtown Grand Rapids on Ionia Avenue, you might understand this comedy. A Grand Rapids Reddit user made me laugh with this picture and caption.

The caption reads, "Go home Ionia Street you're drunk." I was most pleased with the proper use of the word "You're". After looking at the picture, it's the crazy street lines that make you scratch your head.

When you hit this patch of Ionia between Lyons Street and Pearl, you do notice a bit of... wonky. You have to curve around the outdoor seating which is still erected from the outdoor dining pandemic order. And the traffic lines on the street do seem like they're dizzy. One lane has now been split into 2 lanes. Someone tried really hard to be clear where the lanes are but didn't quite succeed. If you add in the brick pavers to the mix, you're set for a bumpy experience.

A few comments on the reddit page include Jimmy1life's,

Go to Ionia on vacation leave on probation.

tmntoast said,

Hey I thought Irish on Ionia was over?

And PremierBromanov added,

Thats it, time to make it a pedestrian road

Is Ionia drunk? The yellowpages claim there are 30 bars on Ionia Street. Here's a list of some places which are within walking distance of this section on Ionia. They may or may not have contributed to the euphoric state of the street...err... Avenue:

Grand Rapids Brewing Company-1 Ionia Ave SW

One Twenty Three Tavern-123 Ionia Ave SW

HopCat-25  Ionia Ave SW

Tavern On The Square-100 Ionia Ave SW

At any rate, if Ionia Avenue SW is drunk, the Kent County Prosecutor's Office is close- located at 82 Ionia Ave SW. Someone arrest that road for public intox!