Happy National Cheeseburger Day! 6 Weird Products to Celebrate

While every day in America may feel like National Cheeseburger Day, only Sept. 18 is. In honor of the glorious holiday that embodies all things America stands (ok, sits) for, we've rounded up some of the most fantastic products inspired by the greasy dietary staple of the U.S.:

Burger Bed

Every wish you could just crawl inside a cheeseburger and take a post-cheeseburger-consumption nap? Don't we all? This burger bed is so popular, it has its own Facebook page, with more than 30,000 fans. Think about how easy it would be to get laid if you had a bed that's more popular than you are!

Burger Bike

While it seems unlikely that the most avid fans of cheeseburgers go on many bike rides, maybe this bike would inspire them:

Burger Earrings

Ladies, sick of saying "My eyes are up here!?" Well, keep his eyes from wandering south by entrancing him with these cheeseburger earrings. The burgers will keep him captivated on your facial region, as long as you don't mind him drooling a little while staring at you.

Burger Soap

I'll admit, every now and then, I come across a burger SO good, I just want to rub it all over my body. Downside of that is all the grease it would leave behind, forcing me to call Proactive to combat the subsequent acne, earning Jessica Simpson a royalty check. You don't want to earn Jessica Simpson a royalty check, so next time you're tempted to rub a sexy, sexy burger all over your body, go with this soap:

Burger Ear Buds

If rising from your burger bed to wash with your burger soap to ride to work on your burger bike STILL isn't enough burger for you (and how could it be?) may we suggest the burger ear buds? Tell the world you love cheeseburgers as well as their trusty sidekick, fries, WHILE listening to some tunes. Perhaps Jimmy Buffet's Cheeseburgers in Paradise?

Cheeseburger Knitting Needles

It's like, how can you even claim to be a cheeseburger lover if you don't own cheeseburger knitting needles? Seriously? Don't even talk to me right now.