Researchers at the University of Missouri spent some time crunching some numbers and figuring out how to classify drunks.

The researchers found that drunks fall into one of four different categories – which all have very clever names.

For example, you might be an “Ernest Hemingway” drunk, which means you can drink a lot – without losing a lot of your function.

And then, there’s the “Mr. Hyde” drunk, which means you become much less responsible, much less intellectual, and much more hostile when you drink. In other words, you’re a bad drunk.

Or, maybe you’re the “Nutty Professor,” which means you’re more outgoing after tipping back a few or a “Mary Poppins,” which pretty much means you’re a happy drunk. No fights. No problems.

Good drunk, bad drunk, chatty drunk, happy drunk… Did we really need a scientific study to explain this? Who paid for this!? Besides they don't have my type of drunk -- I just get sleepy and nod off.

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